What a difference a day makes. The fog lifts, you can see clearly, and you begin to feel soooo much lighter.
Getting up and blogging this morning turned out to be incredibly therapeutic. Got the $h!t off my chest and helped a few people feel understood in the process. This brings me the warm fuzzy hugs that fuel my happy pill.
After sharing the blog post, social media style, I hopped in the car with a girlfriend and headed off to help some more friends. This was also very therapeutic. Not only did I get to decoupage a mannequin (prepping for the grand opening of The Enchanted Tree), but I got to spend time with some ladies that have incredible warm and inviting energy. I love how people come across my path in life. Almost like it is on purpose.
Before going home, we stopped at my friends house for a brief visit. I ALWAYS love my visits there. Conversation is always about the deeper shit like...needed cognitive change for humanity. My friends son always has a way of helping to have rational and 'scientific' outlooks on my own philosophies. Today he brought up the definition of pseudoscience and listed the "fact check" definitive points, as a sort of refute to Astrology. (I happen to be a very big fan of Astrology. Very big.) I asked him "So then how does psychology become proven through the scientific method?" He busted out a report of Carl Jung's Typology test. On the back was a grid chart of the 16 possible outcomes of personality type. I looked it over, Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling. "Water, Air, Earth, Fire" I pointed out. "I am a Grand Trine Earth (pointing to Thinking) and a Grand Trine Air (pointing to Intuition) so that would put me here (pointing to the type according to the grid)" He says "Ok, come take the test." And I did.
Sure as shit, my results were exactly the same as I had indicated before. Hell yes. I did that using what i know about CEFS (Cognitive Energy Firing Sequence...my little working title as an alternative to Astrology) You know what that means? That means I am one step closer to lifting the taboo that is 'astrology'. Connect the dots, dadidi dee. Getting over this hump, in my opinion, is like unlocking the gateway to understanding the human psyche. I have not read a chart and been wrong...yet. Once people see that everyone has their own individual thought firing sequence, then hopefully they can see how we can teach the proper cognitive therapy's from birth. Maybe we will start feeling more love. Stop being so damn sad all the time. Maybe there would be no drug problem or gun problem... or slut problem...(haha. I had to add that. Been there made THAT mistake)
Anyways, it's been an incredible day cognitively, thus far, and the reaction to my post has been overwhelmingly awesome. A support group/therapy center was suggested, and since this is now the second time that idea has crossed my path, it is now on my todo list.
Thank you all for defining my purpose <3
Friday, February 7, 2014
A Day with Mental Illness
I know for many of you, mental illness is not something that is easy for you to understand. Probably because you can't relate to it...at all. But, the fact is, millions of people suffer from some form of mental illness and there NEEDS to be more understanding. There needs to be more forms of 'therapy' to get through it.
I want to share a little of my experience/battle with Depression.
Yesterday was a friggin doozy. Started off fine, but then all of a sudden, just ONE little thing sent my brain into tunnel vision. It became the only thing I could focus on. It filled me with hurt, anger, fear, and something that I could not hide outwardly (although, you could not tell from my posting on FB as I try to stay chipper as much as I can). I tried very hard to direct my attention elsewhere. I had a photo shoot with my Rock Pets. I tried to read. Nothing was helping. I ended up leaving the house with my notebook and just...stayed away. I thought it might help clear my head. It kinda made things worse. I thought about ramming into every tree, every ditch, or every semi that came my way. When you can't escape your thoughts, you start thinking of getting out...a lot. But, I found a place to park. Watched some Netflix on my phone (that's like having two dialogues going through your head). Then...busted out my notebook and started writing. All the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing came through onto the pages. This is a new thing for me, journal writing. Not only can I use my notes as a part of my study, but it is a HUGE blessing in understanding what I go through one day and is completely gone the next.
The writing helped a wee bit, but I was still feeling prisoner to my thoughts. I came home and went straight to bed. I wanted to sleep... but couldnt. What I needed was a hug. An embrace. Some warmth bringing my senses back to a level playing field. If I had just sought out the hug prior to the plummet, I would have been fine. But I didnt. I couldn't. Instead, for the next 8 hours, I lived in my own hell. Unable to escape, just wanting to be rescued. I missed my kids who are always eager to give me loves. For the last 2 hours of my night, I sat and cried....and cried and cried. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are absolutely alone, even when you know you aren't. (Even sitting here writing this is making me cry, just in remembering).
For me, I know there is a cognitive solution to this. There has to be a way for me to beat this without taking a f**king pill. Thought therapy. More hugs.
If you, or someone you know is having a rough go at it...give them a god damn hug.
I want to share a little of my experience/battle with Depression.
Yesterday was a friggin doozy. Started off fine, but then all of a sudden, just ONE little thing sent my brain into tunnel vision. It became the only thing I could focus on. It filled me with hurt, anger, fear, and something that I could not hide outwardly (although, you could not tell from my posting on FB as I try to stay chipper as much as I can). I tried very hard to direct my attention elsewhere. I had a photo shoot with my Rock Pets. I tried to read. Nothing was helping. I ended up leaving the house with my notebook and just...stayed away. I thought it might help clear my head. It kinda made things worse. I thought about ramming into every tree, every ditch, or every semi that came my way. When you can't escape your thoughts, you start thinking of getting out...a lot. But, I found a place to park. Watched some Netflix on my phone (that's like having two dialogues going through your head). Then...busted out my notebook and started writing. All the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing came through onto the pages. This is a new thing for me, journal writing. Not only can I use my notes as a part of my study, but it is a HUGE blessing in understanding what I go through one day and is completely gone the next.
The writing helped a wee bit, but I was still feeling prisoner to my thoughts. I came home and went straight to bed. I wanted to sleep... but couldnt. What I needed was a hug. An embrace. Some warmth bringing my senses back to a level playing field. If I had just sought out the hug prior to the plummet, I would have been fine. But I didnt. I couldn't. Instead, for the next 8 hours, I lived in my own hell. Unable to escape, just wanting to be rescued. I missed my kids who are always eager to give me loves. For the last 2 hours of my night, I sat and cried....and cried and cried. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are absolutely alone, even when you know you aren't. (Even sitting here writing this is making me cry, just in remembering).
For me, I know there is a cognitive solution to this. There has to be a way for me to beat this without taking a f**king pill. Thought therapy. More hugs.
If you, or someone you know is having a rough go at it...give them a god damn hug.
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