I can't believe it has been over a year since I last posted on my blog. Although...it has been quite the interesting year, that is for sure. 2014 will be my year to start telling you more about my life and everything I have come to learn on my little journey. Let's kick this off with a little re-posting from my Facebook:
I have come to find the answer to life to be rather simple. It's all energy. We know this, but as a whole, do not embrace this. We are stuck in this rut of unhappiness that gets worse by the day.
I have learned who I am, in and out down to the simplest of explanations, and learned to accept it. Learned the why's of the things that I do, the ways that I feel what I feel. I have learned the source of my depression, and through the cognitive effort to change, have stopped scapegoating my reality. I dominate those subconscious tendencies with the foresight, of unwanted consequences from "wrong actions/thoughts", to do the right thing.
2013 was a year of complete reset in my life. The directions I was going in years prior, finally came to a screeching halt, as if to say "Hey Dumbass, yer doin it wrong". (I really wasn't doing life wrong, as everything happens for a reason. I was learning. I am still learning.) My time at the rock yard came to an end. This was hard for me as it was a over a decade of my life. And it was FUN. Rocks, tractors, dirt, oh my. I also ended my time at v103. In hindsight, being in the radio/local music scene was more about learning/feeling/understanding societal woes, for me. Anything from the need for Arts programs in schools, to trying to 'make it' in an overly saturated market place, to what the modeling/vanity industry is doing to women (deeepression), but most of all, that people are f**king sad everywhere. It was very overwhelming for me. I have learned that, cognitively, I am driven to help the world. If I am not helping in some way, I beat myself up for it. Deeepression.
I spent a lot of effort on trying to be informed about current world issues and make educated contributions to logical discussion. (Didn't/doesn't always work for me because I am too idealistic. Too dreamy. I envision peace so easily that I get frustrated that others wont just come and play with me.) It's hard to embark upon the two party 'democratic' failing system. It's hard to convince people that money enslaves us. It's hard to convince people to be ecologically responsible. It's hard to convince people to "just say no to Big Pharma". It's hard to convince people to stop eating McDonald's. It's hard to convince people that 'babies having babies' is a root cause of a lot societal disadvantage. It's hard to convince people to see eye to eye. Everyone is on edge ready to go at each other's throats for 'being different, yet not accepting others differences, yet equally wanting the freedom to be so'. Why?? Doesnt that seem so...draining?
I am getting my FREE education on in an effort to be better versed in facts and theories. Kinda tired of not being able to debate on account that i have nothing to reference. Makes me feel like an idiot...which I'm not. Deepression. I have this vision, in which life is so stinkin simple, but i have to cross some hurdles to get there. I want to bridge the gap between science and spirituality. Help heal all the 'being different' -isms. I want to make strides in the ways we view mental illness and the methods in which we treat it, for that too, I find to have simple solutions. I need to prove my theories, in a scientific fashion, conducting research and studies. It's going to be a long road for me, as it's an about face from my Business Degree pursuits, but it's already fulfilling it's purpose in it's infancy stages.
So that's pretty much all I can think about anymore. It's what gives me motivation to accomplish things throughout the day. Gives me motivation to embrace art and all the things that make life FUN. It gives me motivation to be the change. The world is about to have a reset of it's own soon, and I just want to be ready to help heal it.
***Many of you have been willingly participating in my ongoing research, and for that I am grateful. (Many famous and influential people have been participating too, but they dont know that :p ) Some of you I talk to on a regular basis about my findings, and soon, I will be able to go over my research with everyone. It's quite amazing to me really, and I have never geeked out so hard over anything in my entire life. Even my husband, who has to listen to my frequent ramblings, has become versed in some of the terminology as a result. Hehe. ***
