What a difference a day makes. The fog lifts, you can see clearly, and you begin to feel soooo much lighter.
Getting up and blogging this morning turned out to be incredibly therapeutic. Got the $h!t off my chest and helped a few people feel understood in the process. This brings me the warm fuzzy hugs that fuel my happy pill.
After sharing the blog post, social media style, I hopped in the car with a girlfriend and headed off to help some more friends. This was also very therapeutic. Not only did I get to decoupage a mannequin (prepping for the grand opening of The Enchanted Tree), but I got to spend time with some ladies that have incredible warm and inviting energy. I love how people come across my path in life. Almost like it is on purpose.
Before going home, we stopped at my friends house for a brief visit. I ALWAYS love my visits there. Conversation is always about the deeper shit like...needed cognitive change for humanity. My friends son always has a way of helping to have rational and 'scientific' outlooks on my own philosophies. Today he brought up the definition of pseudoscience and listed the "fact check" definitive points, as a sort of refute to Astrology. (I happen to be a very big fan of Astrology. Very big.) I asked him "So then how does psychology become proven through the scientific method?" He busted out a report of Carl Jung's Typology test. On the back was a grid chart of the 16 possible outcomes of personality type. I looked it over, Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, and Feeling. "Water, Air, Earth, Fire" I pointed out. "I am a Grand Trine Earth (pointing to Thinking) and a Grand Trine Air (pointing to Intuition) so that would put me here (pointing to the type according to the grid)" He says "Ok, come take the test." And I did.
Sure as shit, my results were exactly the same as I had indicated before. Hell yes. I did that using what i know about CEFS (Cognitive Energy Firing Sequence...my little working title as an alternative to Astrology) You know what that means? That means I am one step closer to lifting the taboo that is 'astrology'. Connect the dots, dadidi dee. Getting over this hump, in my opinion, is like unlocking the gateway to understanding the human psyche. I have not read a chart and been wrong...yet. Once people see that everyone has their own individual thought firing sequence, then hopefully they can see how we can teach the proper cognitive therapy's from birth. Maybe we will start feeling more love. Stop being so damn sad all the time. Maybe there would be no drug problem or gun problem... or slut problem...(haha. I had to add that. Been there made THAT mistake)
Anyways, it's been an incredible day cognitively, thus far, and the reaction to my post has been overwhelmingly awesome. A support group/therapy center was suggested, and since this is now the second time that idea has crossed my path, it is now on my todo list.
Thank you all for defining my purpose <3
Friday, February 7, 2014
A Day with Mental Illness
I know for many of you, mental illness is not something that is easy for you to understand. Probably because you can't relate to it...at all. But, the fact is, millions of people suffer from some form of mental illness and there NEEDS to be more understanding. There needs to be more forms of 'therapy' to get through it.
I want to share a little of my experience/battle with Depression.
Yesterday was a friggin doozy. Started off fine, but then all of a sudden, just ONE little thing sent my brain into tunnel vision. It became the only thing I could focus on. It filled me with hurt, anger, fear, and something that I could not hide outwardly (although, you could not tell from my posting on FB as I try to stay chipper as much as I can). I tried very hard to direct my attention elsewhere. I had a photo shoot with my Rock Pets. I tried to read. Nothing was helping. I ended up leaving the house with my notebook and just...stayed away. I thought it might help clear my head. It kinda made things worse. I thought about ramming into every tree, every ditch, or every semi that came my way. When you can't escape your thoughts, you start thinking of getting out...a lot. But, I found a place to park. Watched some Netflix on my phone (that's like having two dialogues going through your head). Then...busted out my notebook and started writing. All the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing came through onto the pages. This is a new thing for me, journal writing. Not only can I use my notes as a part of my study, but it is a HUGE blessing in understanding what I go through one day and is completely gone the next.
The writing helped a wee bit, but I was still feeling prisoner to my thoughts. I came home and went straight to bed. I wanted to sleep... but couldnt. What I needed was a hug. An embrace. Some warmth bringing my senses back to a level playing field. If I had just sought out the hug prior to the plummet, I would have been fine. But I didnt. I couldn't. Instead, for the next 8 hours, I lived in my own hell. Unable to escape, just wanting to be rescued. I missed my kids who are always eager to give me loves. For the last 2 hours of my night, I sat and cried....and cried and cried. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are absolutely alone, even when you know you aren't. (Even sitting here writing this is making me cry, just in remembering).
For me, I know there is a cognitive solution to this. There has to be a way for me to beat this without taking a f**king pill. Thought therapy. More hugs.
If you, or someone you know is having a rough go at it...give them a god damn hug.
I want to share a little of my experience/battle with Depression.
Yesterday was a friggin doozy. Started off fine, but then all of a sudden, just ONE little thing sent my brain into tunnel vision. It became the only thing I could focus on. It filled me with hurt, anger, fear, and something that I could not hide outwardly (although, you could not tell from my posting on FB as I try to stay chipper as much as I can). I tried very hard to direct my attention elsewhere. I had a photo shoot with my Rock Pets. I tried to read. Nothing was helping. I ended up leaving the house with my notebook and just...stayed away. I thought it might help clear my head. It kinda made things worse. I thought about ramming into every tree, every ditch, or every semi that came my way. When you can't escape your thoughts, you start thinking of getting out...a lot. But, I found a place to park. Watched some Netflix on my phone (that's like having two dialogues going through your head). Then...busted out my notebook and started writing. All the thoughts and feelings I was experiencing came through onto the pages. This is a new thing for me, journal writing. Not only can I use my notes as a part of my study, but it is a HUGE blessing in understanding what I go through one day and is completely gone the next.
The writing helped a wee bit, but I was still feeling prisoner to my thoughts. I came home and went straight to bed. I wanted to sleep... but couldnt. What I needed was a hug. An embrace. Some warmth bringing my senses back to a level playing field. If I had just sought out the hug prior to the plummet, I would have been fine. But I didnt. I couldn't. Instead, for the next 8 hours, I lived in my own hell. Unable to escape, just wanting to be rescued. I missed my kids who are always eager to give me loves. For the last 2 hours of my night, I sat and cried....and cried and cried. There is nothing worse than feeling like you are absolutely alone, even when you know you aren't. (Even sitting here writing this is making me cry, just in remembering).
For me, I know there is a cognitive solution to this. There has to be a way for me to beat this without taking a f**king pill. Thought therapy. More hugs.
If you, or someone you know is having a rough go at it...give them a god damn hug.
Friday, January 31, 2014
My Path...
I can't believe it has been over a year since I last posted on my blog. Although...it has been quite the interesting year, that is for sure. 2014 will be my year to start telling you more about my life and everything I have come to learn on my little journey. Let's kick this off with a little re-posting from my Facebook:
I have come to find the answer to life to be rather simple. It's all energy. We know this, but as a whole, do not embrace this. We are stuck in this rut of unhappiness that gets worse by the day.
I have learned who I am, in and out down to the simplest of explanations, and learned to accept it. Learned the why's of the things that I do, the ways that I feel what I feel. I have learned the source of my depression, and through the cognitive effort to change, have stopped scapegoating my reality. I dominate those subconscious tendencies with the foresight, of unwanted consequences from "wrong actions/thoughts", to do the right thing.
2013 was a year of complete reset in my life. The directions I was going in years prior, finally came to a screeching halt, as if to say "Hey Dumbass, yer doin it wrong". (I really wasn't doing life wrong, as everything happens for a reason. I was learning. I am still learning.) My time at the rock yard came to an end. This was hard for me as it was a over a decade of my life. And it was FUN. Rocks, tractors, dirt, oh my. I also ended my time at v103. In hindsight, being in the radio/local music scene was more about learning/feeling/understanding societal woes, for me. Anything from the need for Arts programs in schools, to trying to 'make it' in an overly saturated market place, to what the modeling/vanity industry is doing to women (deeepression), but most of all, that people are f**king sad everywhere. It was very overwhelming for me. I have learned that, cognitively, I am driven to help the world. If I am not helping in some way, I beat myself up for it. Deeepression.
I spent a lot of effort on trying to be informed about current world issues and make educated contributions to logical discussion. (Didn't/doesn't always work for me because I am too idealistic. Too dreamy. I envision peace so easily that I get frustrated that others wont just come and play with me.) It's hard to embark upon the two party 'democratic' failing system. It's hard to convince people that money enslaves us. It's hard to convince people to be ecologically responsible. It's hard to convince people to "just say no to Big Pharma". It's hard to convince people to stop eating McDonald's. It's hard to convince people that 'babies having babies' is a root cause of a lot societal disadvantage. It's hard to convince people to see eye to eye. Everyone is on edge ready to go at each other's throats for 'being different, yet not accepting others differences, yet equally wanting the freedom to be so'. Why?? Doesnt that seem so...draining?
I am getting my FREE education on in an effort to be better versed in facts and theories. Kinda tired of not being able to debate on account that i have nothing to reference. Makes me feel like an idiot...which I'm not. Deepression. I have this vision, in which life is so stinkin simple, but i have to cross some hurdles to get there. I want to bridge the gap between science and spirituality. Help heal all the 'being different' -isms. I want to make strides in the ways we view mental illness and the methods in which we treat it, for that too, I find to have simple solutions. I need to prove my theories, in a scientific fashion, conducting research and studies. It's going to be a long road for me, as it's an about face from my Business Degree pursuits, but it's already fulfilling it's purpose in it's infancy stages.
So that's pretty much all I can think about anymore. It's what gives me motivation to accomplish things throughout the day. Gives me motivation to embrace art and all the things that make life FUN. It gives me motivation to be the change. The world is about to have a reset of it's own soon, and I just want to be ready to help heal it.
***Many of you have been willingly participating in my ongoing research, and for that I am grateful. (Many famous and influential people have been participating too, but they dont know that :p ) Some of you I talk to on a regular basis about my findings, and soon, I will be able to go over my research with everyone. It's quite amazing to me really, and I have never geeked out so hard over anything in my entire life. Even my husband, who has to listen to my frequent ramblings, has become versed in some of the terminology as a result. Hehe. ***
I have come to find the answer to life to be rather simple. It's all energy. We know this, but as a whole, do not embrace this. We are stuck in this rut of unhappiness that gets worse by the day.
I have learned who I am, in and out down to the simplest of explanations, and learned to accept it. Learned the why's of the things that I do, the ways that I feel what I feel. I have learned the source of my depression, and through the cognitive effort to change, have stopped scapegoating my reality. I dominate those subconscious tendencies with the foresight, of unwanted consequences from "wrong actions/thoughts", to do the right thing.
2013 was a year of complete reset in my life. The directions I was going in years prior, finally came to a screeching halt, as if to say "Hey Dumbass, yer doin it wrong". (I really wasn't doing life wrong, as everything happens for a reason. I was learning. I am still learning.) My time at the rock yard came to an end. This was hard for me as it was a over a decade of my life. And it was FUN. Rocks, tractors, dirt, oh my. I also ended my time at v103. In hindsight, being in the radio/local music scene was more about learning/feeling/understanding societal woes, for me. Anything from the need for Arts programs in schools, to trying to 'make it' in an overly saturated market place, to what the modeling/vanity industry is doing to women (deeepression), but most of all, that people are f**king sad everywhere. It was very overwhelming for me. I have learned that, cognitively, I am driven to help the world. If I am not helping in some way, I beat myself up for it. Deeepression.
I spent a lot of effort on trying to be informed about current world issues and make educated contributions to logical discussion. (Didn't/doesn't always work for me because I am too idealistic. Too dreamy. I envision peace so easily that I get frustrated that others wont just come and play with me.) It's hard to embark upon the two party 'democratic' failing system. It's hard to convince people that money enslaves us. It's hard to convince people to be ecologically responsible. It's hard to convince people to "just say no to Big Pharma". It's hard to convince people to stop eating McDonald's. It's hard to convince people that 'babies having babies' is a root cause of a lot societal disadvantage. It's hard to convince people to see eye to eye. Everyone is on edge ready to go at each other's throats for 'being different, yet not accepting others differences, yet equally wanting the freedom to be so'. Why?? Doesnt that seem so...draining?
I am getting my FREE education on in an effort to be better versed in facts and theories. Kinda tired of not being able to debate on account that i have nothing to reference. Makes me feel like an idiot...which I'm not. Deepression. I have this vision, in which life is so stinkin simple, but i have to cross some hurdles to get there. I want to bridge the gap between science and spirituality. Help heal all the 'being different' -isms. I want to make strides in the ways we view mental illness and the methods in which we treat it, for that too, I find to have simple solutions. I need to prove my theories, in a scientific fashion, conducting research and studies. It's going to be a long road for me, as it's an about face from my Business Degree pursuits, but it's already fulfilling it's purpose in it's infancy stages.
So that's pretty much all I can think about anymore. It's what gives me motivation to accomplish things throughout the day. Gives me motivation to embrace art and all the things that make life FUN. It gives me motivation to be the change. The world is about to have a reset of it's own soon, and I just want to be ready to help heal it.
***Many of you have been willingly participating in my ongoing research, and for that I am grateful. (Many famous and influential people have been participating too, but they dont know that :p ) Some of you I talk to on a regular basis about my findings, and soon, I will be able to go over my research with everyone. It's quite amazing to me really, and I have never geeked out so hard over anything in my entire life. Even my husband, who has to listen to my frequent ramblings, has become versed in some of the terminology as a result. Hehe. ***
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Picture Frames
I love decorating picture frames! It adds a little extra flare to some otherwise dull frames. I ALWAYS get them cheap, whether on a Goodwill Hunting adventure, a yard sale, or hand-me-downs.
Here is just ONE simple idea to easily transform a plain frame.
For this make-over, I used some decorative stones (usually used to fill a vase or fish bowl type thing)
some handy dandy tacky craft glue
some times I glue in a pattern...sometimes I just randomly put em on there...
your design...your rules
add some shells if thats your thing...
Be sure to let the glue dry before setting up right...
OTHER IDEAS...
NEXT FRAME PROJECT: Lace and other pretty little things :)
Goodwill Hunting 1.26.13
uuggghhhh...I have an addiction. An addiction to Goodwill. Why does it have to be right next to the grocery store?? And why does there have to be TWO within a 10 minute driving distance? aaaahhhh...
At least I can say I spent more on the kids today...
All paper back books are $1.50...hard covers are $2.50
My kids are just as big pirate freaks as i am...
Pirate piggy bank... $1.99
Another cool picture frame for $1.99 (which I decorated in my next blog)
aaaaand of course, some new books for my library
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